Sometimes people ask me when I knew there was something different about me. Well, maybe not in so many words, but I know exactly what they mean. The thing is, I don’t remember ever not knowing.
I felt fine with that, since everyone sucked. Smart-assed prissy pants who never cared about anything other than their own thrills…
…and then I met her: Angeline.
She saved the life of one of those pinky butt-hurt ass-wipes and then she showed them the way to save their souls. It didn’t matter how they swore and spat at her, mocking her simple belief. She spelled it out for them: the truth, the future, the past, their salvation… until the light in their eyes returned and the tears confessed how painful the listening was for them.
I understood a little bit more then. I got why watching these fools hurt so much, even though I shut my heart to that fact. Other people never mattered much to me. Why should they when not a one lifted a finger to help me and my sis when we were alone and starving. I had to do it myself, the hunting and scrounging for food and shelter. The warm places. The scraps of clothes–but that doesn’t matter.
When my sis died, I wanted to end it. All of it. Everything and everyone around me–but that doesn’t matter much either. Suffice it to say “stupid” didn’t get the better of me. I moved on, shoving the loss and loneliness down deep. The hate festered down there, and I was fine with that… or so I thought. Hating everyone and everything they stood for.
Dying inside each day.
That was when I saw her. The loser she saved was just like me, fighting against the world without even realizing they were on the losing end of that fight. But, even though they hated her, she smiled. Softness resonated in her tone; maybe even… maybe even Love–whatever that meant.
My ears burned with the truth she told them, the sound singing in my ears until I cried out with the pain of the perfect harmonies. That was when she noticed me. Or, maybe that was just when I was more important than the ass-hat that was arguing with her about life and eternity. She looked straight at me, waited a brief moment, and then said my name.
Everything changed when she said my name. Everything.